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@ -145,4 +145,8 @@ I wonder how many other people are like this?
All this thinking hasn't inspired or motivated me one bit. Is it because I keep doubting myself. I ~~maybe~~ shouldn't expect an intropsective thinking session to motivate me. I shouldn't expect to be motivated. I (fuck this) just need to blindly do whatever I think is best in the moment, and trust my judgement, and be confident in my ability to succeed. And not think to hard about it. All this thinking hasn't inspired or motivated me one bit. Is it because I keep doubting myself. I ~~maybe~~ shouldn't expect an intropsective thinking session to motivate me. I shouldn't expect to be motivated. I (fuck this) just need to blindly do whatever I think is best in the moment, and trust my judgement, and be confident in my ability to succeed. And not think to hard about it.
I ~~think~~ it is nessesary (to learn how to spell that word) to stop and consider the general direction of my life. I.e., set goals and work towards them I ~~think~~ it is nessesary (to learn how to spell that word) to stop and consider the general direction of my life. I.e., set goals and work towards them, while periodically reviewing so that I don't go off track. It's like i'm playing heads down thumbs up, but everyone else has gone to lunch. Like I don't understand the assignment (read: the meaning of life). Obvisously I dont understand the meaning of life. But when doing actual assignments, I tend to just start and then figure it out as I go. Generally it works out ok. Although I rarely put in 100% effort. I could do a lot better If I just put in more effort.
This is another I have. Trying to find a balance between studying, and having fun. Yes, a trade off is neccessary (holy shit i think i spelt it right) because no pain no gain blah blah blah need to work hard ooga booga.
I think I actually know how to and am capable of being better. But am too lazy, therefore am not capable of doing better. If I am capable of doing better, who don't I? ~~I think~~ ~~People~~ I forget about laziness, and procrastination when setting ~~their~~ my expectations of ~~themselves~~ myself. I set my expectations too high because I tell myself "I wont be lazy this semester". When I look back, my laziness has only got worse, not better.