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@ -15,4 +15,16 @@ But I have shit social skills.
I think I need to fix this. These last two/three weeks I have talked to more girls than I have my entire life. But they are online. One of them I did meet with, Larissa, she is very cool. But for some reason I dont find her particularly attractive and I know that shouldn't matter and I don't know why I care about it. Nvm actually I care because It's natural to want an attractive person (obviously). Does this mean I just want to be friends? No, I want to have sex before my 20th birthday.
Any, I got a bit sidetracked there.
Anyway, I got a bit sidetracked there.
I am getting behind in my uni work. I keep telling myself I work hard enough, harder than most. But people like Luc and Alex work so much harder than me. I tell myself that I don't want to be "excellent", just good enough. And that I don't desire greatness enought to warrant the amount of work required. I think I might just be being lazy.
I have a stong tendency to reject "popular" things. I have a strong bias towards novelty. Maybe It's because pop music its actually bad or maybe its because I just dont want to be "boring".
That's my real motivation. I think of myself as a boring person because I can't hold a decent converstation, or speak eloquently. So I try to be interesting in other ways: snowboarding, surfing, music, movies, books, all that. And philosphy. But. But what? Does this make me actually interesting? Some girls in tinder seem to find me entertaining to talk to. But is it just because of the pickup lines and jokes I copied? I guess I'll never know without being origianl. Although, maybe there is an element of orgininality in that I selected the ones I liked. That's definitely a strech.
"I want a pretty little life" - Ray Gun by the bird and the bee.
I dont have "big thoughts". I tell myself I don't care about modern politics. Maybe I'm just lazy, to boring and stupid to have an original opinion on world issues.
Huh, I guess that's normal. I would imagine most people don't have original thoughts about world issues. Just the cool people who I know. And "influencers" who parrot what other people say. Kant said