From 818f38e4e18889d8f614f0b2c682d6b10bfbe2c0 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Jet Hughes Date: Mon, 15 Aug 2022 17:29:29 +1200 Subject: [PATCH] vault backup: 2022-08-15 17:29:29 --- content/notes/Fuck-it.md | 8 +++++--- 1 file changed, 5 insertions(+), 3 deletions(-) diff --git a/content/notes/Fuck-it.md b/content/notes/Fuck-it.md index 643015c9c..40ee48e1a 100644 --- a/content/notes/Fuck-it.md +++ b/content/notes/Fuck-it.md @@ -93,7 +93,7 @@ When did I start having these "deep" thoughts. They're not helpful. I've not bee I should be using philosphize this as a way to find new perspectives (which I might agree with. I should be more critical), rather than a phrase book for my life. -OoOhHh I need to be *eNlIgHtEnEd*. How can I expect myself to have achieved enlightenment by 19. Maybe I am on a track to becomeing a "true individual". +OoOhHh I need to be *eNlIgHtEnEd*. How can I expect myself to have achieved enlightenment by 19. Maybe I am on a track to becoming a "true individual". Or maybe I'm just overthinking. @@ -105,7 +105,7 @@ Jesus. Im afraid of being not afraid. I think that If i'm more confident and sta -Was I sexually assaulted by that bitch at soccer practice in primary? (She took me behind the storage container, asked me for a kiss, I said no, she said close your eyes, promise I wont kiss you. Then I closed my eyes, and she kissed me) Sounds fucking stupid right? Am I just looking for something to blame my social anxiety on? I wonder how people who were more seriously abused must feel? +Was I sexually assaulted by that bitch at soccer practice in primary? (She took me behind the storage container, asked me for a kiss, I said no, she said "close your eyes, promise I wont kiss you" then I closed my eyes, and she kissed me) Sounds fucking stupid right? Am I just looking for something to blame my social anxiety on? I wonder how people who were more seriously abused must feel? In intermediate school (middle school in america I think), I- @@ -121,4 +121,6 @@ Am I selfish? A self-proclaimed "niceguy"? Why does "niceguy" have bad connotati Reddit is bad for me. -Maybe it can be good. If I follow the right subs. But then I'll still be exposed to the general culture of reddit (I dont even know what I mean the the general culture of reddit). How has reddit benefitted me in a substantial way? - It hasn't. If it had I don't \ No newline at end of file +Maybe it can be good. If I follow the right subs. But then I'll still be exposed to the general culture of reddit (I dont even know what I mean the the general culture of reddit). How has reddit benefitted me in a substantial way? - It hasn't. If it had I don't think it would be this hard think of something. Introduced me to OE (is that really a good thing?). Lots of help with calisthenics and mobility. Cool art. Interesting articles about futurology. Although I could have got all those three things just as easily from other places. Whatever, I didn't really miss it that much when I deleted it for a week or two. + +Same with instagram. It's hard not to feel inadequate. Because I compare myself to others. And judge them, and then project my judgemental nature onto other people and become scared that they'll judge me. Maybe I'm judgemen- . Am I actually judgemental? Yeah, sometimes I look at someone wearing clothes that don't fit my sujective standard of "coolness", and say in my head "why would you wear those stupid, tight jeans". But usually I catch myself, and realise that i'm being judgemental and that they can wear whatever the fuck they want and why should I care. Hmmm on second thought who know how many times i've subconciously judged people, and discr \ No newline at end of file